Ill Doctrine:  Why I’m Happy, Why I’m Not Satisfied

January 23, 2009 at 11:26 pm (Life)

This may be the best video blog I’ve ever run across. You have to visit Jay Smooth’s website www.illdoctrine.com

I love to hear really intelligent opinionated, um.. opinion. And he’s a pretty damn funny guy, too.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Ill Doctrine:  Why I’m Happy, Why I’m…“, posted with vodpod

 

Advertisements

Permalink 1 Comment

So here we go.

January 23, 2009 at 8:13 pm (Life) (, )

I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time. Like, for years. And even with all that procrastinating, I still don’t have a solid idea of what I want this blog to be. More than a journal. Not quite a forum.  I guess I’ll work that out.

I love those questions that blogs, social networking sites and the like ask when you set up your profile. The most common and my personal favorite is the “About Me” question. I love the idea that this neat little paragraph is supposed to define me. As though I could explain who I am to my readers or even to myself in a tidy, humorous, thought-provoking summary. To be acurate I’d have to update my response to that question every day, if not every hour. Instead of running up my wireless bill with constant mobile updates everytime I have an epiphany, I typically answer that question with a question of my own: What am I supposed to do with this box everyone wants to put me in? But ok; let’s try.

Unlike many of my friends I’ve grown to embrace the term “Bubbie.” Not because I completely fit into that definition. I’m no ones soror. I don’t hold a graduate degree. I’m not a home-owner. My car, unless maintenance counts, is not new. I’m not well-traveled. There’s an infinite list of what I am not. Some of those things will change in the immediate future. Some I’ve set aside as long-term goals. Some of those things may never change. What I am, is a first generation African-American college graduate (which IMO makes me more of a cliche if we’re going to catagorize). I am a news junkie, a lover of arts, an internet-geek, a geek-geek (I wear glasses for fun), a girlie-girl, the reincarnated-repressed born-again soul of Angela Davis. I’m kidding, but I like what that chick stands for. I’m a daughter, sister, niece, grandchild and I have some cousins, too. I’m an avid reader and a suppressed writer.  I listen to latin jazz and hip hop with equally over-the-top enthusiasm. I’ve taken quite a liking to Buddhism as a guide to life. I’m Christian – no denomination; although my parents told me I was – and my grandparents attempted to raise me as – Catholic. I don’t regularly get to church so I guess that makes me a backslider, too. I’m a childless, unmarried 29-year old. I have an addiction to Whole Foods vegetarian eggrolls. Sort of by effort and with a little more than luck I’ve found myself smack in the middle of what’s shaping up to be a legitimate career that’s  firmly planted me in the land of the “middle-class.” (For what that’s worth with the national and global economy being what it is.) I’ve met the man I’m sure I’ll marry and we’ve been togther every single day over the 2+ years since. I’ve built friendships with other very intelligent, funny, caring people (although, I’ve kept those friendships at a distance, but we’ll get into that later.) And still…

I feel overwhelmingly, and increasingly incomplete. I have a problem with perfectionism. And while I know that there’s no such thing as perfect, I just feel there’s so much progress to be made toward a more perfect Me. A more complete me. I’ve realized that all my life I’ve felt incomplete… because I’m not perfect. So that’s it, maybe. I want this blog to journal my progress. I want to look back on these words, and the words of those that care to follow and contribute comments to my ranting, and see that I’m at best  moving forward (because isn’t moving forward the best anyone can do?) and not sitting stagnant for fear of falling short of perfect. I want to, and need to, learn how to be complete because of my progress and not incomplete because of my imperfection.

Let’s get it,

Ally

Permalink 1 Comment